I Am the Boss

COWBOYPOETRYANDMUSIC.COM

"I am the Boss,

Ain’t I?"

I'm not a guy who's bossed around like livery boys or doormen;

The ranch hands all look up to me because I am the foreman.

And so, I've grown accustomed to a place of leadership;

I've learned to say it like it is...and shoot straight from the hip

So, when I'm diggin' fence post holes, and one puts up a fight,

I simply change its attitude by usin' dynamite!

And, for unruly horses, I've come up with this invention.

I brandish my ol' forty-five, and that gets their attention.

But when I order cows to stop those piles that they're makin',

they're not the least bit skeered of me-not tremblin' or a shakin'.

I've had to grin and bear it 'cause I can't control their crappin's;

So I accept what I can't change: The fact, manure just happens!

And, so, I rarely bellyache, 'cause ranchin’ is my life...

I only gripe for Debra's sake, 'cause she's my darlin' wife...

Why, every time she goes outside, them cowpies mess her shoes.

It's been a woe she can't abide...She's took to drinkin' booze.

I've tried to figure out a way to keep them cow pies in...

My ingenuity don't pay; my patience growing thin.

I had a brainstorm, tried it out: It didn't do the trick...

(Those diapers, slung and tied about, were gone with that first kick!)

I rigged some propane heaters up, to gasify that stuff;

Now, that worked purdy well, although the end result was rough:

The government complained 'cause planes, that flew through that brown smoke,

got ruined by the smelly stains, which grossed the travelin' folk.

I tried to get my cows to feed on mints and cotton candy...

and asked them, when they felt that need, to use the potty handy.

But diff'rent foods were not the fix--It made them cow pies sticky,

And, though our crapper's fine for hicks, them cows were too darned picky!

Well, Debra tired of my flops, and I was at a loss.

(A cow pie falls just where it plops, 'cause cows ain’t got no boss.)

Our wise friend, Rex, advised us, "Time to wipe away that frown!

Just thank the Lord beef price is up, and that the chips are down!"